Of Paths and Complaints

Now I see just how vain I've been, complaining about how I was losing my words with the most beautiful words I could find.
I despise my former self for being so stupid, so blindly bold and boldly blind. Today I may have lost my words, but at least I've found truth.
I stop and write, stop and think, stop and ask myself whether I should have taken the words before honesty. One's greater, the other one's more decent.
If I search deep inside I think, no, I know... all I've ever wanted was greatness.
Maybe after all I did take a wrong turn. Maybe later down the road I'll get another chance.



Juliet.

Whatshisface

Just like one day I woke up and you were gone, one day I woke up and the girl who loved you wasn't me anymore. I thought the moment would never come, and that I would always be as blue as the flag you wave at nobody's face.

But now I'm new, I'm clean, I get to start again, I get to choose. And believe that, if I had the chance, I wouldn't choose you in a hundred years. Because you lie, you deceive, you hurt and you're cruel.

Even though there's nothing inside me that wants you back, I still can't shake off the feeling of hatred. After all, nobody had ever been that mean to me. After all, I loved a lie. After all, I guess it's fair to say there's nothing to say but goodbye.



Juliet.

Thoughts in my head

I think this is the innocent me. No. Innocence is something I've lost long ago. This is the stupid me. If there is such a thing. I just don't thing I'm capable of... whatever.
Soooooooooo you wrote about meeeee. You wrote about me, didn't you? And you laughed at me all the while, didn't you? And I bet you're going to write about how you didn't write about me but actually did. Because that's what you do, yes, I know you, and you've done it before.
You probably think this is funny. And you know what? I think you followed me that night. There's no way you could've ended up there. I have friends, don't try to convince me of things that aren't true.
When we talk you never talk about it. It's sad. And a bit pathetic. I mean, a grown man who can't own up to his actions/words/published words? Are you playing a game? I think you would like to be young again. There comes a point in the life of a middle aged man when he regrets everything he did and wishes he had done things differently. This is you, doing what you shouldn't.

And I can't say I'm not enjoying it.



Juliet.

F You

I'll smoke whatever this guys roll.
Because that's who I am today and if you don't like it you can look the other way.
Close your eyes and sell your soul, let your sins hang on the dancefloor
we're high and dry, we're wet and all smiles.
Fuck you. I don't know where I am anymore.
Fuck you. I hope someone you love dies.
Fuck you. It's your own fault this is the only shit I can write.


Juliet.