Acknowledging

There’s always a part of the problem that’s completely understandable, something you can appreciate and even, at times, relate to. It sounds easier and simpler to pretend that one is the sole face to the issue but it hardly ever is.

There’s something that is deeper, attached to the core of my mind in a stronger way. You can try to neglect that, you can even act like it’s not there but it’ll come back and slap you in the face.

But you won’t see it, no, it’s something that needs to be felt. And you possess no ability to feel it, there is just no way for you to comprehend it. Now, I don’t blame you for being incapable, I blame you for trying to convince me that it is not there, I blame you for denying its existence while I’m bleeding inside, I blame you for trying to make me forget all about it when actually I should be facing it and dealing with it.

I’m not as simple as you are, not as basic. There’s something wrong that you can’t fix but that doesn’t mean that the problem is with you. I cannot take care of you when I should be taking care of me, you take it all too personally and it’s nothing like it.

Try and stay away while I figure myself out. Let me cry if I want to, let me shout. Don’t smother me, don’t interrogate, don’t question motives or reasons. Running away from the problems is your MO yet not mine. It’s not fair, I’m only trying to be OK. I don’t see how am I ever going to with you around.

Mademoiselle Juliettè,

Dangerous, I'm sure.